The Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle and Adultery


There are a few typical Roadblocks men use when they first write to me about the reasons why they believe their wife would not consider having sex outside her marriage to fulfill his desire to share her with other men.

I hear this particular reason so often that I decided to make it not only a dedicated blog Post but also make it a page on my website so that in the future when this subject comes up I can refer him (or her) to the website tab rather than having to type out my thoughts on this subject every time.  I should have done this a long time ago.

First, yes I am aware that I am going to take a lot of heat about this, and receive some hate mail from the Moral’s Police.  I have said previously, receiving hate mail doesn’t make me cry anymore.

I was going to say something trite about wearing big girl pants now but decided not to, but I am going to begin by making a few disclaimers starting with the obvious.  “The opinions offered herein, are those of Dr. Lexi, who is neither a religious scholar, nor even a real doctor.  You should use your own brain to decide whether or not I know what I am talking about, and if my explanation makes sense to you.”

Since I am a practicing Hotwife, it makes sense to me, so here we go.  The Roadblock goes something like this:  “Dr. Lexi, I have a longstanding desire (fantasy) of sharing my wife with other men but because of her (our) religious upbringing I know she would never go for it.”

Interestingly, when I ask the question about what particular aspect of religious upbringing is the issue, men can’t seem to put it into words, but as soon as I ask them if they are referring to Adultery, suddenly they remember that is the reason.

Has there ever been any other religious issue raised as a roadblock against the Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle in the three plus years I have been a Lifestyle Coach?  No there has not!

The Seventh Commandment is the one that says “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery!”, or words to that effect.  So in order to know how this Commandment fits into the Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle, if it even does, we need to understand the working definition of the term “Adultery.”

This is where it becomes a little more Grey than Black or White, which is why I said you need to be able to use some of your own brain power.  There are at least a dozen different definitions of the term Adultery, depending on where you look, or who is trying to scare you.

The last time I wrote a blog Post about this particular subject, one of the anonymous pieces of hate mail I got, accused me of picking a definition that suited my own purpose.  OK.  Fair enough.  Do your own research.  You decide what definition you want to use when you apply your own brain power.

If you want to use the definition I found most often when I did the research it is this, and I am paraphrasing, “A woman who has sex without the knowledge of her husband.”

The next term we need to define is that of a “Hotwife”.   A Hotwife is most often a married woman whose marriage is open on her end who has sex (dates) other men in order to fulfill her husband’s desire (fantasy) to share her sexually with other men.

Since she can’t fulfill his desire to share her with other men, unless he “has knowledge” of the sex act (fucking) outside her marriage, she is NOT an Adulteress.  It gets even better.

Not only does he have knowledge that she is having sex with other men, she has his permission, his support, and his encouragement.  That does not meet the general working definition of Adultery.

So if a Hotwife, or for that matter, any other of the Alternative Open Marriage Lifestyles involving sex with others, the wife is not committing Adultery.

That begs the question, who is committing Adultery?  Here are a few examples for you right out of my email in-basket.  A married flight attendant who hooks up with men while she is on overnight travel without her husband’s knowledge.  A secretary who is banging her boss when her husband thinks she is working late.  A woman spending the afternoon in a motel with her personal trainer.  A woman getting her needs met by her son’s soccer coach.  The list goes on and on.

If it were in my power I would end Adultery by turning all married women into Hotwives!