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Dr. Lexi!  Help!

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Dr. Lexi!  Help!

The most likely reason you are reading this page is because you have this fantasy of sharing your wife with other men and you actually had the courage to tell her what you wanted her to do, and things did not go like you hoped.

So now you are looking for some help to see if there is a way to salvage this plan.  The simple answer is, probably, but that is going to depend on how enlightened you can become.

The first thing you need to understand is why she looked at you like you had three eyes and then told you “I’m not doing it!”, or worse!

I don’t even have to know you in order to tell you why she said no.  It’s not because I’m a psychic either.

Part of it is because I am a woman that has been married for 20+ years and I think like a woman.  The other part is, I have been doing this Hotwife Lifestyle coaching thing now for almost two years and I am pretty sure I have heard it all from both men and women.  The reason I think that is because it’s been quite a while since I heard anything new.

Women that have been married for any length of time have a built in automatic Bullshit Detector.  Your problem with that is that the default setting is “Extra Sensitive”.

Your wife is the heart and soul of your family.  She is the mother of your children and she is both the nurturer as well as the family protector in the relationship sense.

The problem with asking her to fundamentally change into having an Alternative Marriage Lifestyle, which is open on her end because you want her to spread her legs for other men, sets off her Bullshit Detector.

When the alarm sounds she senses a threat to the welfare of everything of value to her family and the word “No!” is pretty much automatic if she doesn’t understand the bigger picture.

So how do you fix it?

You can’t fix it until you understand the problem.  So let’s start there.  First of all, you can’t adjust the settings on her Bullshit Detector, but she can, so the real question is how do convince her to change the setting or even better, turn it off?

The best way to do that is by building Intimacy, and open and honest communication with her.  When a woman feels intimacy in a relationship then there is nothing that is off limits.  Any fool thing that comes into your brain can come out of your mouth with no negative reaction from her.

She might ask you a half million questions but it’s only because she is trying to understand the concept completely.

I have said this a hundred times probably, but Michael and I had zero intimacy when he announced publically at a party one night that the thought of me having sex with another man turned him on.  He didn’t initiate the conversation but that was his comment about it to me and everyone else.

I waited until we were alone before I asked him about it.  That one admission began a drip, drip, drip, of intimacy between us because I was curious about it.  The more questions I asked turned that drip into a trickle and within a couple of weeks we had a very intimate relationship with open and honest communication particularly about that one subject.  When I was convinced that he was serious, I had already witnessed the positive benefits to my own marriage, so I agreed to do it.

I am explaining to you how I got here so that you can see that building intimacy does not have to be a long term project if you are patient, and your wife is curious, but I also want you to understand that some Intimacy has to come first before you can have Credibility.

But we have Intimacy Dr. Lexi, so why did she say “No!”?

She said no because you don’t have the intimacy that you think you have.  Men rarely understand the concept of Intimacy.  I’m not really sure why that is, and I’m not a real doctor anyway.  I can’t know everything.

I do know one thing though.  When a man has an erection which he is pretty sure he is going to get to use for its intended purpose, he is liable to say all kinds of intimate things.  That would be good if the intimate thoughts lasted longer in his brain than the erection did.

The reasons she said “No!”

These reasons are in no particular order and they are all important.

·         You don’t have enough Intimacy and open and honest Communication to have Credibility.

·         You didn’t paint her a complete picture.

·         You didn’t give her a reason to say “Yes”.

·         You didn’t tell her what was in it for her.

·         You didn’t tell her how becoming your hotwife would benefit your marriage.

Now, I told you in the beginning that I didn’t need to be a psychic to tell you why she said “No!”. The reason is because I have heard both men and women tell me these things over, and over, and over!

I am neither a real doctor nor a rocket scientist.  In fact I am a blonde.  But when I hear these things often enough I get it!  And now, so should you!

If you want my help in getting her to say "Yes", all you have to do is ask for it.  I am trying to pay it forward by helping other people get the benefits of supercharging their sex life by opening it up on her end, fulfilling your fantasies about sharing her with other men, and making your marriage better and stronger.  It's really not that difficult!

Alexis McCall  A.K.A.  Dr. Lexi