What is a Hotwife?

Hotwife Mythbusting


What is a Hotwife?

April 13, 2016

This one is probably going to get me in trouble again with the fantasy enthusiasts and caption writers on Tumblr and other porn sites, because I am firmly rooted in the reality of this Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle.  I have been in trouble before.  It’s nothing new.

I used to get quite a bit of hate mail back when I was railing against that stuff here on Tumblr and other sites because it scares the shit out of normal everyday soccer moms, and housewives, that are looking for real, truthful, and honest, information about what this Lifestyle is, and isn’t, for about 95% of married couples that are looking to supercharge a marriage, or fix a relationship that has gone fallow.  (I’m a country ranch girl!)

I stopped whining about the hate mail after Michael pointed out to me that they have as much right to be here as I do.  He is right of course, so I stopped bitching about it and miraculously stopped getting hate mail.  Hmm . . . .

That solved my problem but it didn’t do anything to help all the women who write to me and ask me about the link between Hotwife and Cuckold, for example, because they can’t envision their husband wearing a cock cage!

Women that think that is the norm in a hotwife marriage don’t know any better because that is how this lifestyle is usually portrayed.  I wish I could somehow forever break the link between Hotwives and cuckold husbands.

There are a lot of links I would like to break!  I also wish I didn’t have to spend so much time explaining that normal everyday women with a family, and probably a job, don’t go out with multiple men on a date to get “spit roasted” and then send selfies home to the husband to show it to them.

Do women ever have fantasies about being involved sexually in a room with four men whose hands, mouths, and penises, are all over, and inside her naked body?  Of course we do.  I have a fantasy where I am raped in a bar by a motorcycle gang too, but I would never want it to happen to me in real life.  That’s what fantasies are for.

I’m not trying to convince anyone that there are NOT as many different ways to be a hotwife as there are Consenting Adults.  I get email all the time from women in the Lifestyle for a hell of a lot longer than me that are into a lot of the edgier stuff and suggest that maybe I could lighten up a little.

I could do that I suppose but then who is left to tell new people the truth about how those women got to that point.  For normal women like the ones who write to me, it was by starting out conservatively and expanding their comfort zone a little at a time.  The reality is that most Hotwives get as much sexual and emotional fulfillment as they want, out of normal types of sex dating.

So I have come up with a Plan B.  I’m going to put a new tab on my website @ AlexisMcCall.com.  The tab is “What is a Hotwife” with the subtitle “Hotwife Mythbusting” I am going to do it that way so I don’t enrage anyone on Tumblr.  I’m going back to my Hotwife 101 roots and start at the beginning.  I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before now!


Hotwife Myth Busting

April 13, 2016

What is this?  This is a new website section as of this date, to explain to those 95% of you that are living in reality, what it means to be a Hotwife, what a traditional Hotwife IS and ISN’T, how you should conduct yourself as a ‘Soccer Mom Hotwife’ as well as exploring many other Hotwife Myths that you run across as you search for nuggets of Gold in your quest for the truth about this amazing Alternative Marriage Hotwife Lifestyle.

Dr. Lexi’s Coconut Telegraph has had a lot to say lately wanting me to address separating reality from fantasy, and explain the differences for Hotwife 101 enrollees.  In the next few weeks, I will post a series of Hotwife Myth busting truths


Defining a Hotwife

April, 15, 2016

So, you want your wife to be a Hotwife, or your husband wants you to be a Hotwife, or you want to be a Hotwife.  What does that mean?  Well, let’s use the KIS principle.  Dr. Lexi was a paralegal in her former life and it was drilled into my head daily to Keep It Simple for the lawyers I was having to micromanage because lawyers don’t understand the concept of . . . never mind.  I’m getting off message.

So let’s define a Hotwife as a “married woman who is shared with other men”.  That’s it!  That is the KIS very bottom line definition of a Hotwife.  It defines every single aspect of this Lifestyle that I can think of, in my blonde mind.

So what does that mean?  Well, that is the problem.  It means as many different things as there are people who have an opinion about the subject.

The fact that you are even reading this, tells me that you either found this on my Tumblr blog, or you were doing research on the subject on line, and found my website, or you were referred to me directly by one of those (expletive deleted) forums.

I plan to address as many aspects of this Alternative Marriage Lifestyle as I can, in the form of a sort of 101 course like treatment, beginning with Myth Busting.

It is important that you know my bias, in order to get the most out of this information.  I am extremely passionate about this subject.  I am a practicing day to day Hotwife.  I am a Lifestyle coach for both men and women who want the wheat without the chaff, the nuggets of gold without the sand, and the reality of this Lifestyle without the fantasy and porn.

I have been helping couples find their way in this Lifestyle because I believe in paying it forward.  Becoming a Hotwife turned my marriage from shitty, to Supercharged in the blink of an eye.  If it can work for me it can work for any marriage.  All it takes is an open mind and common sense.  If you want my help, all you have to do is ask for it!

What prompted me to try to Myth Bust this Lifestyle, is the same thing that prompted me to try and Define it.  The more I thought about how to do that, I realized I couldn’t do one thing without doing the other.

Lucky for me it’s a labor of love because I have bitten off a much larger chunk than I can probably swallow.  The thing is, for any of you who have been following me for a while know, I am not afraid of controversy!

On the other hand, I have learned that I need to play nice with the Hotwife caption writers, and fantasy and porn enthusiasts, who have as much right to be here as I do and the same freedom of speech as I have.

That is why only a few of these Myths will be Busted on Tumblr. The rest of them will be found on my website because I believe in peaceful co-existence!

Just so you know, my plan going forward, is that tomorrow I am going to address the Hotwife-Cuckold link!  


Hotwife - Cuckold Link

April 16, 2016

Myth Busting 101 has to start with the mythical link between Hotwives and Cuckolds.  Without a doubt in my blonde brain, based on the mail I still get, it is the single biggest question in the mind of both men and women who don’t know any better in the beginning because they are getting most of their initial information about the Hotwife Lifestyle by using sites like Tumblr and others, because they follow specific key words during their “research” and end up reading hotwife captions.  Grrrr . . .

Many of them are almost freaking out by the time they find me.  I get asked about this so often that my first response is about 80% boilerplate now.  “Boilerplate” as far as I know from my paralegal days is legal mumbo jumbo that is the same thing over and over in every civil case.

So I was writing the same thing so often trying to debunk this mythical link that it occurred to me one day that I could save a hell of a lot of time by making a boilerplate answer.

Here is the bottom line.  There is no link between Hotwives and Cuckolds!  Are there Hotwives that have a Cuckold husband?  Sure.  There are all kinds of relationships between husbands and wives that are role play and that’s fine by me because I believe that consenting adults should be able to do whatever they can think up and talk each other into doing.

There are also non-hotwives that act like one who have a sissy for a husband and she rubs his sissy nose in the knowledge that she is fucking all his buddies, but there is no link there either.  It is what it is!

I can’t tell you how often I get an email from a very normal guy who wants his wife to become his hotwife because he also has the very normal fantasy about wanting to share her with other men, but begins his email almost timidly because he wants to make it crystal clear to me that he has no cuckold tendencies.

Well, just so you know, Mr. Sir, neither do 95+% of the other men who write to me.  While I am sharing statistics with you, women who write to me also have that same concern wondering if her husband has to wear a cock cage if she becomes a hotwife and goes out on a date.

The vast majority of men and women in a Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle are not much different day to day than most other married couples except they are happier.  They have kids and they probably have a two income household.

They worry about budgets, households, car repairs, and crabgrass.  They are soccer moms, secretaries, librarians, hairdressers, lawyers, and pharmaceutical reps.  They are married to welders, accountants, Sales reps, doctors, lawyers, and Indian Chiefs, (probably not).  They go to school recitals, soccer games, the grocery store, Walmart, the dentist, and the dry cleaners.

They worry about school grades, college tuition, the cost of gas, finances, and every other thing that allegedly monogamous couples worry about except for Infidelity and Jealousy.

The thing that makes the Hotwife couple different is when the wife brings home little Ricky from soccer practice after school and shares a story with her husband over a glass of wine after dinner that she is pretty sure that little Ricky’s soccer coach wants to bang her because he stares at her tits and flirts with her.

“Do you want to do it?”  The husband asks.

“Yes, I think so.”  The wife says.

“Then don’t wear a bra tomorrow and he will probably ask you out, but if he does, don’t forget we have a dinner reservation at The Max on Thursday night at 7:30.”  He says.  And so it goes.

This subject will be continued right here all of next week.


Be Careful What You Wish For

April 28, 2016

Every once in a while a man who thinks he wants his wife to become a bonafide, anklet wearing, card carrying, flirtatious, dating, leg spreading, BBC loving, cum slut, finds out that reality is a lot different than fantasizing about it after he gets what he thought he wanted.

I’m not saying this never happens to any of the men I coach through this process of transformation into a Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle, but I am absolutely saying that if it happens to any of Dr. Lexi’s guys, it wasn’t because they were not warned up front.

What good is having a coach if she only gives you the upside?  None!

Be careful what you wish for because once your Genie is out of the lamp, the bottle, the cave, the cloud, or wherever, she not going back in.  She is out for good.  It’s a one way trip!

Monogamy sucks!  I don’t know of even one married person, let alone a married couple, who thinks that monogamy in a marriage, makes them happy.  A full third of all divorce’s are because one or both partners who agreed to “keep unto each other”, didn’t!

Another full third of divorce’s are because of jealousy.  Let me bring this into perspective for you.  It means that one or both partners who agreed to “keep unto each other”, thinks his or her spouse is looking for change because he or she doesn’t like that vow of “keeping unto each other.”  Hello?

I’m a blonde, not a rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure that one third plus one third equals two thirds!

So what does this mean and what is my point?  Once your wife goes from a restrictive, non spontaneous, boring, unimaginative, repetitive, predictable, planned out, sex life where she has to fantasize her ass off during the act, just to make it physically gratifying for ten minutes, let alone emotionally rewarding, to . . . .

See?  I don’t even have to type it!  Every single one of you knows what I’m talking about.  Once she begins to experience sex, romance, excitement, passion, and orgasm, that puts her both physically and emotionally in places she has maybe never been before, the grass on the other side of the fence is definitely greener.

Being married to your Hotwife Life Mate can be the most sexually supercharged, Intimate, love inspired, rewarding relationship in the history of the world, if you both go into it the right way, for the right reasons, with goals, Intimacy, Open and honest Communication, a plan with baby steps to get used to the temperature of the water, reasonable “Rules of Hotwife Engagement” with understanding, and mutual respect.

Or, you can crash into this lifestyle full speed ahead because you were blinded by your fantasy, and fueled by the caption writers, and you convince your wife to “Go for it!”, and she does what you want her to do, and then you don’t like it and have a change of heart, and write to Dr. Lexi for help.

Just so you know, neither one of my two Superpowers include a Magic Bullet to shoot at your Genie to make her go back in the bottle. It turns out that Genies are Magic Bulletproof anyway!